5 ‘weird’ sexual preferences your partner probably has but won’t admit
For a culture that talks about sex constantly, people still get scandalized over the dumbest things. A slightly unconventional preference and everyone gets very concerned about morals, standards and the decline of civilization.
Meanwhile, most of these interests are common enough to barely raise an eyebrow in actual research. The Sexual Medicine Society of North America notes that 39 of 55 sexual fantasies measured in a 2014 study were statistically common. So let’s get into a few preferences that are still being called weird for no very good reason.
1. Want a triangle
This has been labeled a “wild confession” for years, even though it’s literally one of the most common fantasies out there. Sex with multiple partners, including threesomes and orgies, is listed by the SMSNA summary of sexual-fantasy research as one of the most frequently reported fantasy themes. So while people still talk about it like it’s some mind-blowing revelation, a large number of adults have clearly already gone there—in their heads or otherwise.
2. To be beaten, servitude or power play
Some people hear BDSM and imagine a highly choreographed lifestyle with leather furniture and a sex dungeon. Most of the time, however, this category is much easier than that. It can mean restraint, beating, dominance, submission, or simply the appeal to surrender control for a minute. And again, the data here isn’t exactly niche. A Belgian population survey found widespread interest and experience with BDSM-related activities in the general population.
3. Role play
This is a big one. People like novelty, and sex research has been saying that for a while. The SMSNA summary, drawing in part on the work of Justin Lehmiller, lists news, adventure, and variety among the most common fantasy themes. Role-playing games fit nicely into that lane. Sometimes people just want to be strangers for a night. Or someone else entirely.
4. Being turned on by taboo ideas
This category usually means fantasies that people think sound too socially unacceptable to admit. Voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetish play, and certain power-based fantasies all tend to land here. But the Sexual Medicine Society of North America notes that only two of the 55 fantasies in this 2014 study were statistically rare. So no, most people are not alone in what they think is their most indivisible thought.
5. Want a version of non-monogamy
Open relationships, swinging, polyamory, cuckolding, even just being turned on by the idea of sexual openness, this whole category still makes people deeply judgmental, even in today’s world. It also ranks among the common fantasy themes summarized by SMSNA. Of course, fantasy is not the same as a plan. But people are clearly more curious about non-monogamy than polite conversation suggests.
For all the public pearl dressing, most people are probably not as sexually vanilla as they pretend to be. They are just much more selective about what they admit.
