Make a sex menu to save your boring sex life
People are willing to try almost anything to bring sex back into a relationship. Even if it means sitting down and making a menu for it. Laugh if you want, but couples who have tried it say it actually helps.
According to a ZipHealth survey of 1,008 adults in relationships across the United States and Canada, 51 percent of couples who created a sex menu said the frequency of sex or physical intimacy increased after doing so. Another 74 percent said it reduced misunderstandings about what each partner wanted, and 79 percent said it helped them discover shared desires they hadn’t known they had.
For anyone imagining a blank little map with categories and bullet points, the actual idea is pretty simple. A sex menu is simply a written list of preferences, interests, boundaries and hard nos. In other words, a way to stop hoping your partner will magically read your mind and start saying what you actually want.
That alone probably explains why some people are into it. Most couples still talk about sex the old-fashioned way, meaning casually, vaguely, and with plenty of room for confusion. ZipHealth found that 73 percent of people in relationships communicate about sexual preferences through casual verbal conversations. However, more than a third said they are more comfortable discussing preferences in writing than out loud. It is understandable. A written list can feel safer than trying to say something vulnerable while your brain is also busy wondering if you sound insane.
The trust angle is where this gets interesting. Among couples who had tried a sex menu, 84 percent said that openly discussing preferences improved their sexual confidence. Among people who had not tried one, the figure dropped to 57 percent. That’s a pretty big gap for something that basically involves writing things down before anyone gets confused, defensive, or weird.
The process is not always problem-free. 43 percent of couples said creating a sex menu gave rise to differences that were difficult to navigate, and 37 percent said it felt uncomfortable at first before getting easier over time. Any tool for better communication that promises zero discomfort is probably selling nonsense.
It’s also worth noting that sex menus are still quite niche. Only seven percent of people in relationships said they’ve actually done one, although 54 percent said they’d be interested in trying it. So no, couples everywhere aren’t currently doing erotic spreadsheets together. But many seem open to the idea.
The broader point here feels pretty unsexy, but there’s no getting around it. Many people want better sex while remaining allergic to direct communication. If a menu helps solve that, fine. Embarrassing name, good idea.
