How Much Sex Happy Couples Really Have (It’s Less Than You Think)
Happy couples have sex at very different frequencies. We are talking about a swing from four times a week to once a month. So much for the idea that there is one magic number that everyone is supposed to hit.
This range comes from recent reports of couples who described themselves as happy, and the numbers were all over the place. A couple in their early 30s said they usually have sex once a week, although busy stretches can push that to every other week. Another couple, Elizabeth, 59, and Aaliyah, 54, said they have sex more than four times a week. Then there was Jessy, 32, and Steven, 46, who said once a month works fine for them because they work “crazy long hours” and don’t see frequency as “a reflection of the love we have for each other.”
It sounds more relatable to real life than the endless cultural pressure to act as if good relationships are always dripping with spontaneous desire. Many people are tired. Many people are stressed. People are just trying to answer emails, keep kids alive, pay for groceries and occasionally remember to be sexy too.
This is how much sex happy couples have, according to the experts
Kate Moyle, a psychosexual therapist for Lelo, said: “Sex can be an important part of a healthy relationship, but it is not a total barometer of relationship health or satisfaction, and a sole focus on the regularity of sex tells us nothing about the quality or satisfaction of those having it.” She also noted that sex life is affected by everything else going on in a person’s life.
That’s probably what people need to hear the most. Couples are always comparing themselves to some imaginary standard that no one can even properly define. Once a week becomes the gold standard for a hot minute, then someone on a podcast claims twice a day is the secret, and everyone feels behind on a leaderboard that shouldn’t exist in the first place.
Sexologist Dr. Tara Suwinyattichaiporn also pointed to the obvious list of libido killers, including children, workload, stress, finances and sick family members. In other words, life. That profoundly unsexy thing that keeps creeping into the room and ruining everyone’s perfect little fantasy of what a happy relationship should look like.
So how often do happy couples have sex? Apparently as often as it works for them. Annoying answer, maybe. Still true. What people do in healthy relationships looks more flexible and less curated than the internet likes to admit.
