If you don’t do these 4 things, you’re not really a girl’s girl
I don’t know about you, but the term “girl’s girl” is starting to get on my nerves. Too many people use this concept to blindly support women without holding them accountable. Or worse, they label themselves as a girl’s girl while reviling the very femininity they claim to protect.
To me, that is not true femininity.
Here’s what it’s like to be a girl’s girl really is – and what it absolutely is not.
1. Support and celebrate the success of other women
Being a girl’s girl means supporting the women around you. Instead of tearing them down or preying on their downfall (which many of us were conditioned to do), you will lack to see them win. You give them a helping hand, mention their name in crowded rooms and celebrate their success as if it were your own.
Unfortunately, some women see other women’s achievements as their failures, even unconsciously. Without even realizing it, they may downplay another woman’s hard work or credibility to make themselves look/feel better by comparison. We’ve probably all done this at some point, especially when we were younger. Competing with other women came naturally to us as it was pretty much drilled into our brains to do so. But it is important to realize that we are all on the same team.
The more we lift each other up, the more we learn that there is enough room for us all to take up space. In fact, we can use the success of other women as inspiration and permission to chase our own dreams.
2. Not to shame the interests of women
We’ve all witnessed the self-proclaimed “girly girl” belittle other women for something as innocent as listening to Taylor Swift or drinking pumpkin lattes. So those who shame the stay-at-home moms who bust their butts and raise their kids.
What makes someone a true “girl’s girl” is allowing any woman to want what they want, what they like, and live a life that feels right to them – as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else in the process.
3. Hold women accountable
Too many of us confuse being a “girly girl” with being someone who overlooks or condones a woman’s bad behavior, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. A person who genuinely cares about women and their happiness will hold other women accountable when they make mistakes or mistreat others. This does not mean to shame or avoid them; rather, it means calling out negative patterns or harmful actions.
Just because someone is a girl doesn’t mean they get away with cheating on a partner or hurting someone. Many people will dismiss real cases of assault or battery just because the perpetrator was a woman. As humans, we need to hold everyone accountable regardless of their gender. Otherwise, we apologize for harmful behavior.
4. Not seeing women as competition
As I mentioned earlier, seeing women as our competitors will naturally give us a more critical lens. When you are constantly working against someone else, you begin to mentally pick them apart, noticing their weaknesses or flaws so that you can “win”. This often happens unconsciously and without bad intentions, but the effect is the same.
For example, I recently wrote an article about how my relationship OCD causes me to constantly compare myself to other women while dating, making me feel inferior to them. In the past, before I understood why my brain did this, I let my own insecurities screw other women. Now I use this energy to uplift other women and myself.
We are all unique, resilient, beautiful and inspiring in our own way. When you can see the good in yourself, you will also begin to see it in other women – without feeling threatened by them.
