If your friend has tall poppy syndrome, they might hate you
We’ve all had “friends” who tear us down behind closed doors and distance themselves from us the moment we start to level up. This phenomenon is referred to as Tall Poppy Syndrome – and yes, it is a real, documented, social and cultural phenomenon. Think of it this way: People choose to cut the tallest flower they see simply because they are threatened by its growth. (We’re not really talking about flowers here.)
What is Tall Poppy Syndrome?
Tall Poppy Syndrome refers to the idea of ”humiliating” or even sabotaging those who become too successful or powerful. We often see it happening in the workplace, on social media, or even in our own social circles.
Let’s say you got the promotion your colleague has been working towards for years. Suddenly, the same colleague discredits your abilities and ambitions. They may even go so far as to spread harmful rumors about you in the workplace and threaten your success by tarnishing your reputation.
Or maybe you met the love of your life after years of struggling in the dating world. Now your best friend is taking subtle digs at you and your relationship. They may avoid you in your friend group or act passive-aggressive towards you, unable to process their own jealousy while punishing you for your contentment.
Unfortunately, we have all met this type of person. You know, the kind who just can’t seem to be happy for others without making it about themselves. They see your success as their failure – your blessings as their lack.
Have you ever noticed that when a woman becomes famous, it’s only a matter of time before the public turns against her? It’s like we suddenly go on a social “witch hunt” looking for her wrongdoings in an attempt to tear her down. We rarely see that same energy when it comes to a successful man, but that’s another issue for another day. This is a prime example of Tall Poppy Syndrome – and it’s incredibly toxic for all parties involved.
The Origins of Tall Poppy Syndrome
According to TallPoppySyndrome.org, this concept originated in ancient Rome when King Tarquin instructed his son to kill the most powerful men in the area.
“The story goes that King Tarquin the Proud walked silently through a garden,” the site reports. “He said nothing, but as he passed he cut the heads off the tallest poppies. His message to his son? ‘When people rise too far above others, they must be brought down.’“
Unfortunately, this is a common tactic people use in everyday life. Sure, it might not be as serious as actually murdering your competition, but it still involves tearing others down for your own benefit. Why? Because if you can’t rise to their level, your only chance to succeed is to beat them down to yours (or lower), right?
It’s a pretty sad, yet common way to live.
If you are a victim of Tall Poppy Syndrome, your best bet is to cut this person out and continue to shine. It’s a sign that you’re doing something right.
