What is monogamy and why is the manosphere so obsessed with it?

If you’ve spent any time online lately, you’ve probably seen people talk about open relationships as if they’re just another lifestyle choice. Between dating apps, podcasts, and social media, the topic is everywhere. Non-monogamy has been part of the conversation for a while now, and in some circles it’s being treated as a normal option.

Then you get the version that comes out of the manosphere, where relationships are discussed with all the heat of a business seminar. It’s called “unilateral monogamy,” and the premise is pretty simple. The woman remains loyal. The man does whatever the hell he wants.

It includes sex with other people, and sometimes emotional connections as well. Regardless of how it is described, the core idea is the same. One person remains fully engaged while the other gets freedoms they don’t have.

If it sounds familiar, like it’s already been going on for millennia, that’s because it has. The difference is that this version is presented as a system, not a secret.

The manosphere can’t stop talking about one-sided monogamy. Here’s why.

In Louis Theroux’s documentary Inside the Manosphereone influencer, Myron Gaines, describes his relationship in fairly explicit terms. “I do whatever the hell I want. She’s loyal to me. It’s monogamous on her end, open on my end. She packs my f-king condoms when I travel,” he says. Shocking? Absolutely. But it undoubtedly sets the terms of the contract.

So is this actually a true relationship model, or just another piece of manosphere BS?

Technically, relationships do not exist where one person is monogamous and the other is. In non-monogamous societies, they are sometimes called “monopoly” setups. But the most important difference is consent and autonomy. As polyamory educator Leanne Yau explained Cosmopolitanthe monogamous partner in these relationships chooses that structure himself. They don’t accept it under pressure or because the other person has set the terms.

This is where it starts to split in two directions.

What gets pushed into these manosphere spaces leans heavily on control. The expectation is not mutual agreement or emotional awareness. It is a one-way arrangement built around what one person wants and what the other is expected to accept.

And despite how confidently it is presented, the reality is anything but peachy. When Gaines’ partner in Theroux’s documentary is asked about their arrangement, the conversation turns awkward. She seems hesitant and slightly uncomfortable, which makes you wonder how “happy” the couple really are.

There is also a massive contradiction here. The same people who promote “monogamy” often talk about traditional values, loyalty and structure. At the same time, they carve out a version of relationships where these rules apply unevenly. It’s hard to reconcile those two things without admitting what’s really going on.

You can give it a new label if you want, but the idea behind it is the same. A person has their cake and eats it too; the other just has to follow along. It’s not a cool new relationship model; it is an outright double standard.